bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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