OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
