Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
