Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
