Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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