idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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