Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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