My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
it's like iHOP with fire
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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