My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
