We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i out mim tonsoeep
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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