it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I FOUND THE LEGS
Floor bacon is actually really good
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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