he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
