i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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