He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
