I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
