the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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