Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
