But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I cockslap morals
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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