Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
