His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
