how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It's just like the Real World with babies
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
