Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
