Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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