Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Four minutes until I can fart!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
