i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
where does the pee come out of this thing
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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