he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
