can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
last night I used snow as a chaser
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
