those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
