If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize