i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
