Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
