He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
