I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
