but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize