I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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