oh fat girl friday strikes again...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
