Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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