I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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