I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize