yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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