Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
