Too much gin, very little bucket
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
