Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
this is an emotional support booty call
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
