Define "chronic" masturbator.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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