i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
