i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
