when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
