no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
