Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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