i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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