I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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