I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
