hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
