by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
